Mental Health

My Healing Journey

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Posted By Alex Perez - Mental Health Writer, B.A.

Author’s Bio: My name is Amanda Smith, and I have a Master’s degree in Psychology. I have been working in the mental health field since I graduated. Besides, our company website,, is also a platform for people to share their stories about depression and anxiety.

Amanda’s Healing Journey

I used to be a sufferer of severe anxiety disorder and mild depression, and at that time, I insisted on taking medicine every day, which lasted for more than six years. Also, my symptoms were so severe that it was difficult to sleep every day, and when I couldn’t sleep, I felt fear, and when I encountered something stressful, I fainted and went into shock. At that time, I was about to collapse, feeling that living in the world was a kind of pain. Even my doctor told me that my anxiety would be difficult to be cured and that I might have to take medicine for the rest of my life. Now, after a long healing journey, I am finally recovered.

Healing Journey: Struggling

healing journey

I used to see people’s posts in major forums, and most of them were pessimistic. I think we shouldn’t pass on pain and negativity, so I wrote this about my own healing experience.

I was diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder and mild depression at the age of 16. I took medicine for four years and was overwhelmed with sorrow and pain every day.

But I didn’t see any results. And I already liked a boy at that time, but who would want to marry me as I did?

So, I seriously asked my doctor how long it would take for my anxiety to heal, and he said that because my anxiety was severe, I might need to take medicine for the rest of my life. I was so frustrated at the time. I didn’t want to be accompanied by an anxiety disorder and drugs in my life. I wanted a new life and a happy love. I wanted to be free from this pain, so I started to heal myself.

Healing Journey: Understanding

healing journey

As the saying goes, “Books are the ladder of human progress.” And my first step to help myself was to understand how to help myself with anxiety, so I bought a book called “Self-Help for Mental Anxiety Disorder,” divided into two volumes: a pathology and a lecture volume. I guess people with the same anxiety disorder should have seen it, right?

I have read these two books almost ten times, and I have to say that they are perfect. After reading these two books, I knew the reason for real anxiety. The long period of emotional suppression gradually made my nervous system more sensitive to all kinds of adverse events. Also, my thoughts became more negative. And the fear brought by these negative thoughts and emotions was the source of my pain.

The methods of recovery that I have drawn from the book are: facing it, accepting it, releasing it, waiting for it, and overcoming fear. But it does not mean that you read that book. You will be able to heal as I did. The book only tells you how others have successfully recovered, and whether you can heal depends on whether you are willing to persevere.

Healing Journey: Making progress

healing journey

It took me a total of 5 years from the beginning of self-help to the success of self-help. At first, the physical symptoms were so severe that I wanted to give up, but I didn’t want to live my life like this. Then I learned to breathe to relieve the symptoms. I usually do this for about ten minutes to get some relief.

In general, we need to sit cross-legged and close our eyes while focusing on the breath and observing the in and out of breath with the principle of “equal mindfulness.”

Simply observe the breath without judging, analyzing, associating, or dwelling on the current state of the breath or the thoughts or feelings that come to mind. If you get distracted, bring your attention back to the in and out of breath, and so on. Over time, you will find that your emotions and symptoms will stabilize.

And during my period of self-help, my daily routine is very regular. I usually get up at 6 am and run for half an hour. I typically run very slowly while counting the roadside railings, so my heart will gradually calm down, and I have no mind to think about messy things.

I also studied Morita therapy on the computer every day, and I learned some small tips from other people with anxiety disorders. To challenge myself, I specially came to the crowded subway station. I was usually afraid of this kind of place. My heart would beat fast, and I felt weak when I went to that place. I still felt uncomfortable and scared at this time, but I had a series of coping methods. I followed the meditation and breathing method I learned from the book, which gradually alleviated my panic attacks. So I usually exercised myself with this tip.

Later, my anxiety symptoms became more stable but still constantly recurring. To understand it more deeply, I decided to study psychology to change my self-perception of the current situation. In the process, I learned that it takes time for nerves to accumulate to develop extreme pathological fatigue.

Likewise, it takes time for nerves to return to a state of calm to be dynamically balanced down to a normal working state. So, I gradually accepted the recurring episodes and could receive the final pain with a peaceful mind.

Healing Journey: Succeeding

healing journey

Eventually, I noticed that my physical symptoms were getting lighter and lighter, and I felt more and more comfortable.

Then the symptoms eventually disappeared, and before it was completely gone, I already seemed to forget all this pain and felt like going to parties, driving to the mountains in my car, etc. Finally, I felt more peaceful, and I could work as usual. Also, I found the beauty and joy of life again.

I began to be pulled by joy in this state, thinking about the pain of these experiences, feeling that everything is like being painted down for me to see. Even if I suddenly had a fever, I would naturally put down my heart and cheer myself up. The most important thing is that I matured. I can read myself for the first time and understand the root of finding happiness, beauty, and inner peace. Because I have such experience, I am more suitable to be a psychologist to help more people who have the same pain as me.

We can see the light of hope only through constant persistence and hard work. Remember! God is fair, one effort, one gain. Suppose you will only think about it every day, thinking about how to recover without giving any practical action. In that case, you will only be stuck in anxiety for the rest of your life and can not extricate yourself. If you are still figuring out in the dark alone, please believe many people like you in this world. I just want to tell you that you are not alone. Believe that you can solve your psychological problems.

Lauren Bosworth’s Healing Journey From Anxiety

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