Mental Health

How to Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety

Sexual Performance Anxiety Posted On
Posted By Alex Perez - Mental Health Writer, B.A.

Updated on August 24, 2022.

Anxiety is a nearly overlooked mental health issue that changes life in many ways for whoever experiences it and furthermore comes in different forms. Performance anxiety is one of them and to further buttress it, sexual performance anxiety is one area of concern. When a partner constantly worries and fears for his or her looks, fears for his performance during sex, fears premature ejaculation, fears for body size or body part being judged, fears for inability to orgasm, fear for being judged in kissing skills or the perceptions and performance during sex, it tends to escalate if not controlled and kills arousal before sex or interrupts the vibes during sex. It can also prevent erection for men and hinder lubrication for women. Overall, sex performance can be affected by both genders

The Negative Impact of Sexual Performance Anxiety

Sexual Performance Anxiety

Sexual Performance Anxiety Can Affect Your Overall Life

Human psychology has been designed in such a way that just a little pain, headache, or hurt on a tiny part of the body, tends to effortlessly affect every other body part as the pain spreads or travels across. Even in the case of anxiety, when a person begins to worry or stress excessively over something as fun as sex and its performance simply because he looks forward to the bedroom moment and doesn’t know how to go about it and fears how he or she will appear before their partner, every other symptom of anxiety, like fast pulse rate, sweating and the likes follow almost immediately thus affecting their day time work, night moments and life quality.

2. Sexual Performance Anxiety Can Affect Confidence

When sexual performance anxiety is the other of the day, even the little best performance you give will eventually be affected and worsen because you never rated yourself in the first place.

3. Sexual Performance Anxiety Can trip Off a Non-Understanding Partner

Sexual Performance Anxiety

When sexual performance anxiety happens, its symptoms are obvious and can offset the heat of the sexy moment thus killing the sex vibes for a partner who fails to put you in their shoes.

4. Sexual Performance Anxiety Can Hinder the Fun and Benefits That Comes With Sex

No matter how we look at it, asides from sex for procreation, sex was made to be fun and lighthearted, but how can the fun in it be expressed when other strange feelings keep engulfing the sufferer.

5. Sexual Performance Anxiety Can Kill Sex Your Drive

Even for a person with high libido or sex drive, this sex drive can be killed when all that happens are worries about sex performance in the past and how it would be in the future

Solutions to Deal With Sexual Performance Anxiety

Sexual Performance Anxiety

Choose the Right Partner for You

Everything you do or chose to involve yourself in life must be made from a place of conscious decision. Even your choice of a sex partner. If you are a novice In sex and meeting a pro, it is not a bad thing. Just make sure you communicate this to your partner so you don’t have high expectations of each other only to be disappointed in the end or judged.

We all have differing libidos, sexual interests in the bedroom, and different things we are comfortable with or enjoy the most, go for a partner who understands this and wouldn’t force you to do things you are not comfortable with just to please him or her. Go for a partner who allows you to adjust and flow with the pace.

2. Overlook Your Partner’s Perception of You

I cannot stop emphasizing that as much as partners should not be selfish In the bedroom, just like in every act, you owe yourself validation and sanity. So long as you keep trying to improve, what your unappreciative partner thinks of you should not be the down of you. If it worries your partner so much and he isn’t as selfish as he makes you seem, then he or she should guide you gently on how to be better without pressure.

Go for a partner who allows you to be yourself without sentiments or judgment. Once you are comfortable with

This should be the primary mantra in every relationship a person intends to be in. Honestly speaking, asides from sex, we should all be with partners who allow us to come in our raw, purest form and who enjoy even the weirdest and strangest part of us. This is love and takes off the hassle of unnecessary fears of what your partner thinks of you. Go for a partner who wouldn’t want you to be another porn star or person In the bedroom.

3. Talk About It With Your Partner Ahead of Time. Communicate Your Fears

Communication is extra important for humans and even more important in every stage of lovemaking in the bedroom. Go for sex with one who doesn’t bar the lines of communication with you and even looks forward to working things basically beginning from communication even when things go awry in the bedroom.

4. Work on Your Self-image, and Weight Through Healthy Living and Exercise

Sexual Performance Anxiety

Asides from the bed duties, weight loss helps for good health and retaining confidence yet we cannot all guarantee to keep a slim fit body always due to genetics, level of activity and the things we eat, even our environment. Make out time to eat a balanced diet, cut down portions and incorporate exercise into your daily activity.

5. Get Recommended Sexual Boosters to Supplement Things in the Bedroom

Most times no matter what we do, we cannot be superhumans. In this regard, some extra bedroom help will do even if it turns out to be a placebo. Go for supplements, go for recommended sexual and performance boosters and eat more fruits and vegetables. Also, increase your water intake.

6. Visit a Doctor to Know if Your Anxiety or Dysfunction Is Caused By a Medical Condition

If your sexual performance anxiety is caused by erectile dysfunction or some other medical condition that goes further to affect your sex life, this can only be diagnosed by a doctor through a series of medical tests and procedures.

Don’t conclude and do some self-prescriptions on your own. To be sure of where you stand, book an appointment with your doctor. Treating the underlying issue may up your bedroom confidence and fight that performance anxiety.

7. Talk to a Therapist

Sexual Performance Anxiety

Have you been dealing with overall anxiety for a while now or have you discovered how much you suddenly suffer from sex-related anxiety and performance? Speaking to a therapist could be just one of your ways out. Book a session today.

Note: In general, just like in general anxiety, or depression coping, and treating sexual performance anxiety begins with a change of your mindset.

About the author;

Mai Gail (Ray) is a survivor, writer, and author in the making. Public health professional and mental health expert who is MPH certified. A health and lifestyle blogger and creative director of Jarahab.

Besides sexual performance anxiety other health conditions can interfere with male sexual health. Sexual dysfunctions are widespread, issues related to sexual intercourse affect 31% of men, and 43% of women. As a healthy sex life is crucial for our wellbeing, and overall quality of life we’ll have a look at some physiological and psychological issues that can have a negative impacts on men’s sexual wellness.

What are some major male sexual dysfunctions?

erectile dysfunction preoccupied black man

The main types of male sexual dysfunction are:

1. Arousal Disorders, like Erectile Dysfunction

The inability to acquire or maintain an erection is a common male sexual issue. A number of different medical conditions can cause impotence. Often erectile dysfunction is caused by an underlying medical condition. There is no need to panic if this happens to you now and then. However if this problem is prevalent there is no reason to be ashamed and you should seek the advice of a qualified medical practitioner.

The diagnose of a mental health professional is crucial because erectile dysfunction can be caused by a wide range of different medical mental and physical conditions like diabetes, depression, obesity, trauma, low testosterone levels, high blood pressure, stress, anxiety, cholesterol, negative body image, cardiovascular disease, surgical complications, or cancer treatment. Smoking, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, the use of anti-hypertensive medications and the use of antidepressant medications can also be the cause of impotence.

Several treatments and sexual medicine like Viagra are currently available to treat this male sexual issue.

2. Sexual Desire Disorders – Decreased Libido

If you notice a significant decrease in your sex drive you should seek the advice of a physician or  sex therapist. The underlying reasons of a decreased libido can be mental health problems like desire disorders, sleep disorders, anxiety, stress, depression, low levels of testosterone, chronic pain, or cancer.

A recent study found that testosterone therapy was giving satisfactory results in treating low libido.

3. Orgasm Disorders – Ejaculation Disorders

There are several types of ejaculation disorders:

-premature ejaculation that occurs before or soon after the penetration took place

-inhibited and delayed penetration: when the ejaculation take too long or doesn’t occur at all

– retrograde ejaculation that has place into the bladder. A condition that is mostly caused by diabetes or nerve damage.

Premature as well as inhibited, delayed or retarded ejaculation can be treated with a combination of drug therapy and behavioral treatments, sex therapy or psychotherapy depending on the underlying cause. Retrograde ejaculation on the other hand cannot always be restored.

4. Pain disorders, like Priapism or Peyronie’s Disease

Painful erections can be caused by prolonged erections that last hours after the sexual stimulation has ended. This condition is named priapism. When the blood is trapped into the penis this is called ischemic priapism, this is a medical urgency. When the blood flow through the arteries of the penis isn’t working properly we call this condition nonischemic priapism or high-flow priapism.

If you have an erection lasting for several hours you should see a physician.

Peyronie’s disease is the medical term for the disorder that occurs when fibrous scar tissue grows inside the penis. Scar tissue causes a man’s erection to curve, which can be very painful. There are both medical and surgical ways to treat this condition.

How to prevent sexual dysfunction?

  • Limit alcohol
  • Don’t use drugs
  • Quit smoking
  • Regular exercise
  • Balanced diet
  • Treat emotional problems
  • Get routine check-ups

*Note that some types of male sexual dysfunctions can’t be prevented

What other problems can affect male fertility?

1. Low Sperm Count

This issue is more common as you may think. Worldwide 1 in 7 couples is infertile.

Oligospermia, is a low sperm count. Smoking, drinking excessively, hypersexuality, and being overweight are linked to low sperm count. Fortunately all these causes are modifiable factors.

Azoospermia, an absence of sperm altogether, on the other hand can be caused by hormonal problems, a blockage along the reproductive tract, ejaculation problems, testicular causes, previous surgery, infections, inflammations, cysts, or genetic conditions like Kallmann and Klinefelter’s syndrome.

Depending on the cause this condition is treatable and fertility can be restored.

2. Hormone Imbalances – Low Testosterone

Testosterone is a hormone that has an important impact on a man’s body. Low testosterone levels can  lead to a lack of libido, erectile dysfunction, and an overall decline in sexual activity. Low testosterone is often linked to preexisting conditions like obesity, infections, testicular cancer, or diabetes. A simple blood test can detect low T.

A recent study found that exercise could help men with low testosterone regain their libido.

 3. Testicular Cancer

The development of cancer in the testicles is known as testicular cancer. Some of  the testicular cancer symptoms are a lump or swelling in a testicle, pain or discomfort in the testicle, testicular enlargement, and pain in the lower abdomen or back.

Genetic predisposition increases the risk of developing testicular cancer.

4. Prostate disease

The most common forms of prostate disease are prostate cancer, or cancerous enlargement of the prostate, BPH or benign prostatic hyperplasia, or enlargement, and prostatitis or inflammation.

Acute prostatitis is often caused by a bacteria and can be treated with antibiotics.

However, if you lose weight unintentionally, experience bone, back and testicular pain, erectile dysfunction, or trouble urinating, and if you find blood in your semen or urine you should immediately consult a physician.

5. Varicocele

This is swelling in the vein that drain the testicle is the most common reversible cause of infertility.

6. Celiac disease 

This digestive disorder caused by oversensitivity to gluten may cause male infertility. In most cases fertility improves after adopting a gluten-free diet.

7. Obstruction of tubules that transport sperm

The tubes that carry sperm can be blocked due to prior surgery, trauma, infections, or cystic fibrosis, an inherited disorder that causes damages to the organs.


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Morales, A., Buvat, J., Gooren, L. J., et al. (2004). Endocrine aspects of sexual dysfunction in men. The journal of sexual medicine, 1, 1, 69-81.

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Ochsendorf, F. R. (2008). Sexually transmitted infections: impact on male fertility. Andrologia, 40, 2, 72-75.

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Hamilton, K., Chambers, S. K., Legg, M., et al. (2015). Sexuality and exercise in men undergoing androgen deprivation therapy for prostate cancer. Supportive Care in Cancer, 23, 1, 133-142.

Rizk, P. J., Kohn, T. P., Pastuszak, A. W., et al. (2017). Testosterone therapy improves erectile function and libido in hypogonadal men. Current opinion in urology, 27(6), 511.

Semet, M., Paci, M., Saïas‐Magnan, J., et al. (2017). The impact of drugs on male fertility: a review. Andrology, 5, 4, 640-663.

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Anderson, D., Laforge, J., Ross, M. M., et al. (2022). Male Sexual Dysfunction. Health Psychology Research, 10, 3.

What Is Sexual Performance Anxiety?

Can Sexual Performance Anxiety Cause Erectile Dysfunction?

Causes and Treatment of Sexual Performance AnxietyOvercoming sexual performance anxiety

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