10 Reasons Why You Attract Toxic People

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Posted By Alex Perez - Mental Health Writer, B.A.

Guest post by Daniel Lichtman, MA.

Daniel is an experienced psychotherapist and has years of advanced training as a relationship therapist. He has a full-time private psychotherapy and counseling practice at Integrated Way.

daniel lichtman psychiatrist

No matter where you live, who you are, or what people you associate with, there is always a toxic person in your life that you cannot seem to get rid of. These people are not just frustrating to be around but also have a suffocating vibe. It’s like you are feeling judged for literally no reason at all!

Toxic people are manipulative, and their life revolves around spreading their personal sufferings to others. Now, attracting toxic people doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. But having a set of personality traits makes you bait for such people.

While some people can get rid of the toxicity around them, others seem to attract it even more. Are you one of them? Do toxic people seem to get really comfortable and show their true colors in front of you?

In this article, you will learn some traits that may be making you a magnet for toxic people. Once you come to know about those characteristics, it will be easier for you to prevent others from taking advantage of your good nature. Can you relate to any or all of these? Read on to find out.

Reasons Why You Attract Toxic People:

1.     You are Positive

toxic people

Opposites attract, and toxic people like to take things negatively. Regardless of the glimmer of hope you bring, these people will see the glass half empty. Your positivity might make them think you are weird and delusional.

Since they are negative all the time with the habit of bringing out the worst in everything, your positive behavior does not matter. All you can do is let them be. Furthermore, do not get discouraged by the pessimistic things they say about you and your life.


2.     You are Honest

If lying and talking wrong about people makes you uncomfortable, you are an honest person. There is nothing wrong with being honest until you think everyone else is like you. Toxic people prey on this trait of yours because you accept their lies and believe what they say without any proof.

These people will linger onto you with this frustrating habit until you catch up with their lies and confront them. The only way you can get this out of your life is by questioning them about everything they tell you. Moreover, it is wise not to share things about your personal life with them as they feed on gossip.

3.     You are a People Pleaser

Childhood trauma and being abused and surrounded by negative people can make you feel worthless unless you do something for others. But most of these people won’t be there when you need them. If you think saying no means you are a bad person, then you are a people pleaser.

People pleasers attract toxic people from a mile away as they love putting others in guilt. You don’t have to stress out about other people who are only there to take advantage of your giving nature.

4.     You are Humble

toxic people

Humble people have a hard time understanding who is toxic and who isn’t.

If you are down-to-earth and unassuming by nature, then they are going to feed on this habit for years. You can stay humble for as long as you want. However, when it comes to drawing a line and prioritizing yourself, make sure that toxic people hear you loud and clear.


5.     You are Compassionate

Do you often feel sad for living beings on the face of the earth? If so, compassion runs in your blood. Being compassionate is not a bad habit because this world needs more kindness.

However, it can make you a prime target for toxic people who love playing the victim. However, it can make you a prime target for toxic people who love playing the victim. They conceal their true identities and pretend to be good while bringing down others. Try drawing a line about who to feel bad for and understand who actually deserves a piece of your mind.

6.     You are Non-Confrontational

Some people talk about what’s bothering them out loud. And then there’s you who hates conflict. You do not want to ruin relationships no matter how bothered you are. Since this trait of being pushed over by everyone runs in your blood and you cannot help it, toxic people will manipulate your feelings. They will hurt you and then shed all the guilt on how wrong you are.

If you feel you are right and something is bothering you, there is no harm in having a face-to-face conversation.

7.     You have Low-Self Esteem

You lack essential self-esteem if you are constantly comparing yourself with other people all the time. This can include money, education, relationship life, family, and much more. This habit attracts toxic people. They like to bring you further down than you already are by hurting your self-respect repeatedly.

No one is perfect in life, and the people you compare yourself with might have other issues that you are not even aware of. Be grateful for what you have and focus on accomplishing things that you have rather than being a victim of consistent criticism.

8.     You are Generous

Toxic people are demanding. Moreover, they love to take things away from vulnerable people at any cost. Think of a spouse who only wants their partner’s credit card to fulfill their materialistic desires. The moment their partner falls into a financial crisis, issues begin arising in their relationship.

These people can ask you for different things from small household essentials to money. If you cannot provide, prepare yourself for a major guilt trip. The reality is you are not perfect, so if you don’t feel comfortable giving your stuff away, just say no.

9.     You are Loyal

toxic people

If you are loyal to yourself and your loved ones, toxic people might consider spicing your life up a bit. They love to ruin relationships and then offer sympathy by giving you all kinds of bad advice and filling your mind with trash.

Unless you have witnessed something with your own eyes, there is no need to believe what they tell you.


10.   You are a Good Listener

Do you always have a listening ear for others no matter how challenging life is for you? If so, prepare to get burdened by toxic people and their never-ending problems. Remember, all you are to them is a source of venting out.

If you feel no participation in the conversation from your end or they don’t have time to listen to your issues, it is time to say goodbye.

Final Thoughts

Too much positivity can attract toxic people. If you are a kind, generous, humble, and cheerful person, prepare to drown in the negativity of various toxic influences around you. Just by drawing limits and face-to-face confrontations, it is possible to get rid of them and live a more peaceful, fulfilling, and happy life.

Hey Sigmund: Toxic People, 12 Things They Do and Hoy to deal with Them

Science of People: 7 Types of Toxic People and How to Spot Them

Psych Central: What are Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

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